


Scars

by alittlebitlove



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Anorexia, Drug Use, F/M, Gambling, M/M, Robbery, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-04
Updated: 2013-01-04
Packaged: 2017-11-23 14:18:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/623092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alittlebitlove/pseuds/alittlebitlove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry is doing drugs, Niall is anorexic, Louis is alcoholic, Zayn is getting in trouble with law and Liam is trying to keep it all together without much of a success. Future!fic</p>
            </blockquote>





	Scars

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry? You have every permission to kill me. I wasn't planning on writing this, but then it just kind of came to me and I had to write it so... here. Tell me what you think. :) xx.

Harry feels the affect of the pill immediately. It takes control over him, making him feel better – much better. He feels alive. He feels all of his problems going away. He stops worrying, getting lost in the blissfulness of everything around him. He’s in the club, some pretty blond chick in his lap, biting on his neck. He doesn’t mind. He doesn’t try to push her off, even though maybe he’s not all that straight. There is still an image to keep. There is always the image to keep, even if he and Louis drifted apart. He thought that will never happen, but life changes people in the worst ways and that’s what happened to them. The pressure was getting to them, hiding becoming way too much. They still have occasional sex though. Sex is good. Sex is always good and Harry doesn’t want to throw it away just like that. There isn’t anything in it like before though. There are no emotions, no love. Well, maybe there is a bit, but not as much as before. They still pretend that they are dating. Their bandmates think so, management think so, Viacom think so. They don’t try to deny it. They let them suffer for so long. After all, they were dating for almost three years and it would be stupid to break it off to all of them, right? They went through quite a lot of shit to try to hide it and try to keep the band together. It’s all because of them. It’s Harry’s fault. It’s all theirs fault. Maybe if they never fell in love, it wouldn’t be that hard. Maybe they wouldn’t go through all of this and they would still be fine.

But they aren’t fine – none of them are. It is the only truth.

~

Niall looks at himself in the mirror again. He’s fat. He’s so, so fat and he’s eating too much. He always has been and all of those jokes about him being a big of an eater aren’t jokes. He knows that. People are just making fun of his weight – they all are. He was just stupid enough not to notice before. So there he is – barely eating one meal a day. And he’s still fat. He could still see the bits of his fat. It is all over his stomach and tights and arms and he isn’t built right. He doesn’t have muscles or anything to show himself off. He is just fat. Of course he is the ugliest one. It isn’t a miracle. It is just a statement he should’ve accepted long, long time ago. Maybe he could be somehow handsome then. Now it is too late. Nothing is working. It seems like he only gets more weight as he eats less. He starts crying. The tears falling down his white cheeks in pools. He wants to stop them. He feels so weak while crying. He has nothing to cry over. He is somebody nobody cares about anymore. That’s not worth crying. He should just take it, accept it. Crying is useless. It won’t help his situation. He won’t get any skinner. _Stop it, stop It,_ he tells his brain but it doesn’t seem to work. Instead, he starts to cry even more and he hates those stupid, betrayal tears. He puts his shirt back down and the covered stomach makes him feel a bit better. He stares at himself for few more minutes, before turning around and sitting down on a couch, deciding he’s not eating anything today.

It’s for the best. He doesn’t need food. He never needed it.

~

Louis drowns the vodka down his throat in one swing. He hears cheers all around him and he smiles. This has become his life once everything with Harry went downhill – going into steamy night clubs and getting drunk as much as he can. He’s here every day. It feels good. He drowns all of his feelings in the alcohol and it’s just good. He doesn’t regret it. He stopped regretting things long time ago. He’s doing what he always wanted to do, regardless that maybe it could ruin him – or it already has. He has his group of friends that buy him drinks. He has two or three girls and one guy he sleeps with when he feels like it or when Harry isn’t up for it. Harry. Harry is Louis’ everything – or it used to be. It all went downhill six months ago. Harry forgot it all and started a new life, leaving Louis miserable. Louis sulked. He sulked for such a long time, crying his eyes out where Harry just didn’t care. But then he got himself together and decided to start a new life of his own. He found out that he didn’t need Harry to be happy. Alcohol’s doing that. His fake friends are doing that. And he’s fine. And he has occasional sex with Harry what only adds on his ‘fine’ list. Even though that maybe he still is a whole lot of in love with Harry and even though Harry will never feel the same again, it was all just fine. At least he gets sex that is always something he enjoyed, especially with Harry. So he smiles when he takes down tequila and smiles again when he’s drowning himself in some wine. He’s perfectly fine.

Louis Tomlinson was always fine, so he is now. That’s a lie, of course.

~

Zayn breaks into another house, getting better and better at it. He needs something – something to get himself. He needs money. He needs that new TV he saw everywhere. He needs a new MAC that he wants so badly. The problem is, Zayn doesn’t have any money. He spent it all. It’s possible, even for him – a millionaire. It’s hard to believe. Normal people can’t understand that but Zayn needed stuff. So stuff turned into pretty big things. And then those pretty big things turned into gambling and losing and owning shitload of money to loads of people. So when Zayn paid it all. When he bought everything he ever wanted. When he took Perrie to all those trips, he had nothing. So here he is – breaking into other people houses, taking things he wants. It is an addiction. He needs all those bright, shiny, new stuff. He also needs to gamble. He needs it like he needs the air. It’s not really describable because lots of people couldn’t understand that. He knows he would just be sent to jail or something and dammit, he doesn’t want that. Maybe he doesn’t even see anything bad in it because these people were rich and there isn’t really anything illegal in gambling, so where’s the problem? Rich people could buy themselves new stuff. It will be just a little money off their credit cards filled with it. Zayn thinks like this and he doesn’t mind. He likes it this way. Maybe he isn’t really satisfied with his life, but he’s fine, even though Perrie leaved him because of it. Band maybe has drifted apart, but he doesn’t mind. They are still a band, but not quite.

Zayn doesn’t like it at all, of course he doesn’t. He wants his old life back. But he’ll never admit that.

~

Liam grips his hair tightly and screams out in frustration. It’s all too much. There is too much pressure and he can’t take it anymore. He hates it. He hates it so much. He tried so many times to keep them all together – to keep them close, to keep them working and trying. But that didn’t work. The boys didn’t want that anymore. They are all in their little worlds. They are all ruining their own lives and Liam can do nothing about it. He was tired. He was tired of all of this and he just needs a break. One Direction is still together as a band though, and Liam just doesn’t want to leave it all to rot. But it seems like he’ll just have to do that. Even Simon gave up. Liam’s left alone and that’s too much pressure for him to handle. That’s too much on his shoulders. So maybe he should really give up and go his own way. Then again, those boys are his life and even though they are not being themselves, maybe he should try to save them. He knows it’s useless though. None of them wants to listen to him. He was never really a responsible one. Louis was the one who was keeping then together, but now he’s drinking regularly. He’s lost, just like other three boys. Liam is the only one who’s somehow normal. But he’s afraid he’ll become just like them soon. He’s afraid for his own life, no matter that he can control it. He doesn’t know what to expect from it. Maybe he should really get away before it gets ugly. He doesn’t know. He’s not the smartest.

It’s all too much for Liam Payne and he’s breaking under the pressure too fast. Maybe he’s just like the others.

~

Half a year later, one of them died from overdosing with cocaine and heroine. He was found on the floor of his flat, his heart beating no more.

Half a year later, one of them was taken to the hospital due to starvation. He barely survived, only machines keeping him alive.

Half a year later, one of them was sent to rehab for alcoholism. He hanged himself there because the person he only ever loved was dead too.

Half a year later, one of them was arrested and taken to prison. He got ten years for all the robberies and gambling he has done.

Half a year later, one of them leaved England for good. He left all his life behind and started a new one with beautiful woman by his side, though never, ever truly happy.

 

Life is a game that you have to know how to live through. It’s not easy and it’s never going to be.e sHe


End file.
